COVID Made Me Not Do It

I think we can all agree this pandemic has been horrible. But, if you’re a procrastinator like me, it’s the best excuse since “my dog ate my homework.”  Why does my hair look terrible? Covid. Why haven’t I had a mammogram or that delightful colonoscopy? Covid. Why haven’t I visited creepy Cousin Sally? Covid.

I’m no longer a procrastinator, now I’m a procovidinator. I should probably clean the house, but then nobody’s coming over. Change the oil in my car? I’ve hardly driven it this year. Try that new recipe that’s all the rage? I’m already overweight due to long hours on the couch binging Netflix during lock down. Diet? My sweats still fit just fine.

If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I’d take home the gold. That is, if I made it to the Olympics, but I probably wouldn’t—Covid. I practice procrastinating all day long. I can put off doing the laundry, taking a shower, and listening to reason all at the same time without even breaking a sweat. You show me something that needs to be done and I will find a reason not to do it—I’m that good.

Everyone came over to the “that can wait” side during the pandemic. The entire world put off going to school or work, leaving the house, getting dressed. We were given a pass—you’re not behind, you’re quarantined. Procovidination ruled and procrastination was celebrated. We were told to stay home, don’t go out, and for gosh sakes don’t see anyone. The fate of the universe depended upon it.

But now, things are changing. We’re returning to in-person jobs and education and entertainment. Covid isn’t the excuse it once was. The Procrastination Nation must take up a new cause and find a new reason for delaying taking action. I would gladly volunteer for this role, but sadly, my dog ate my computer.

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